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[Ivor-Tinyone WANTED $42 Outlaw]

I hope this helps at least one person. If so then it was worth me sharing.

 

This is a long one but worth it I think. Please bare with it.

 

I was a gambling addict after my first marriage come to a grinding halt.

It was me who left her as she was abusive in every way you could think of. I’m a big bloke, so the bruising and scaring l had looked like I was in a lot of fights. The verbal abuse I got was the worst of it. She made me feel so insignificant to the world. I didn’t matter, I was worthless.

One day she had a knife to my chest when I was at the front door so I left and never went back to that house.

I ended up living in mass shared accommodation.

Not the nicest of places. So I used to find things outside of my room to go and entertain myself.

I still felt that the words my ex wife would say to me hit me to the core, so much so that I believed them.

I started going to this bar that only ever had a couple people drinking in it at the most, anytime I would go there. I would go alone and I would hit all 6 of the fruit machines till I had no money left.

I would finish my drink, go to my room, cry myself to sleep and do this every time I got paid.

Over timeti found myself in a Ladbrokes. Same happened their.

After a year, my divorce was through and I was still torturing myself. I overheard a work colleague saying they won a couple grand off an online slot. So naturally I joined William hill, bet365, and a couple others.

Every time I had money, I would gamble it away and live off minimal food and drink water from the tap. I nearly lost my job when I went in 20 minutes after getting paid and said I wanted to die because I spent my full wage already on roulette.

I used to enjoy gambling but this was killing me.

I got help through a councillor at work and the doctor’s helped too. I got my life back on track and I enjoy gambling again.

 

This took about 6 years from my first lost paycheck down the pub till now.

 

Please get help. It will destroy you if you don’t. I was lucky that I hit rock bottom in a heap of debt and noway out so I had to admit it. Before I got to that point, the chase of that final jackpot was always dangling in the front of my brain, controling me.

I was literally working my arse off for years, starving myself to fill the casinos and bookies pockets.

 

I am not worthless. Neither are you.

Sorry to bring the Christmas tone down but it’s this time of year where I felt it the most.

 

I’ve never shared that story with anyone. Still in debt but it’s manageable. I am happy and I’m also not addicted to it anymore, I know when to stop. I know what I can afford to loose.

Thank you for reading.

 

[Ivor-Tinyone WANTED $42 Outlaw]

Oh and this website and YouTube channel (before it got shut down) helped me over the last couple years. So if your reading admins and Steve then thank you.

[THAGABSTAR WANTED $105 Outlaw]

That’s great of you for sharing your story mate hopefully anyone in the same position reads this and makes a change happy you managed to make that change and turn your life around mate

[Ivor-Tinyone WANTED $42 Outlaw]

THAGABSTAR wrote:

That’s great of you for sharing your story mate hopefully anyone in the same position reads this and makes a change happy you managed to make that change and turn your life around mate

Thank you and I hope so too. I could of gone into alot more detail but I feel if it was any longer, people wouldn’t read it.

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