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[Anonymous WANTED $483 Inactive]

I’ve done soooo many Crazy out there things in my life. But I’ve got to say the most mental thing I ever did was……Marry an Albanian Prostitute for 15k when I was 22. I’m now 40 in June and we divorced 10 years ago. So I’m sure I can talk about it now lol. (Fuck it) ?

I Paid a mate a grand to Jet off to Albania with me and it was fuckin mental from day 1.

The day we arrived 3am, we were picked up by my wife to be’s Boyfriend slash Pimp in his top of the Range BMW. And went to their house. He offered us some white powder and said put this up ya nose lads….fuck knows what it was Haha…honest ?

Man…it was strong stuff. We had a few drinks and had a laugh. Then at bed time the Pimp said to me in his broken English accent “Hey Danny have you ever seen one of these” and proceeded to pull a loaded gun from under the floorboards.

Me like a nob said “oh yeah mate seen a few” when really I was bricking it. ?

He showed it me and my mate and put it back under the floor. Think he was showing us to say don’t fuck with me English boys Haha.

Then we said our goodnights and went to bed.

Me and my mate were high as kites and drunk as skunks. And the weather was so hot and humid. We had a fan to keep us cool, but every time I’d fall asleep my mate would pinch it and put it closer to him. And vice versa when he fell asleep.

Then he got pissed off, and pulled up the floorboards to get the loaded gun and proceeded to chase me around the room with it! Looking back now I think wtf were we thinking lol…absolute mad lads!

Then on maybe the 3rd day we got married and we went to a local river and had a bbq with all their friends. It was great until a fight broke out and me and my mate shat ourselves. Then the wife to be’s pimp went to his car and got his gun and the guys drove off. Then he chased them in his car. About an hour later he came back and took us back to our hotel. At the hotel he said to me “Danny hide this in your room tonight” and he gave me the gun!

Me like a retard shitting my knickers said “yeah ok mate”

Anyway we stayed in Elbasan Albania for 10 fucking days, and I was scared shitless for 9 of them haha.

Many other things happened over there, but this post would be long as fuck if I carried on typing.

So what’s the most mental thing you’ve ever done?

Top That! ?

[Mr Mr B WANTED $395 Blocked]

You should run for prime minister

[Anonymous WANTED $483 Inactive]

Mr B wrote:

You should run for prime minister

Mate…if I ever got in the public eye, I’d be on the front page of the sun every day with shit from my past haha

[Anonymous WANTED $483 Inactive]

C’mon guys share your deepest darkest secrets with me lol

[Green2711 WANTED $492 Outlaw]

Haha that is truly a mental story I’ve always wondered what life would be like living with someone you paid to marry/arranged marriages etc.

I defo can’t top that in fact I can’t really think of many crazy things I’ve done really always played it safe I guess. I do remember when I was around 20 I was out with a few mates and we saw a huge clock tower that was abandoned and falling apart and one of them suggests we go inside and climb it then have a joint at the top. It was absolutely massive I remember it had a stone spiral staircase at the bottom and we had to keep to the wall because the majority of the stairs has crumbled away as you got higher it changed to a wooden spiral staircase with the wood all rotted and falling apart and that freaked me out (obviously said nothing to the lads) when we finally got near the top there was a ladder leading up to a hatch but the wooden flooring leading to it had completely come away the only way to get on to the ladder was standing on this slim bit of metal sticking out the wall and shimmying across – we all managed to get up safe and sound and had a few drinks and a smoke but defintely irresponsible to do and to do it stoned and drunk was pretty fucking stupid. I couldn’t even enjoy the view when I was up there because I knew that we’d have to get down and that would be just as nerve racking.

That was in my younger days though nowadays the most excitement I get is deciding what new show to watch on Netflix haha

[Ha Hacko1 WANTED $181 Outlaw]

Just Basics wrote:

I’ve done soooo many Crazy out there things in my life. But I’ve got to say the most mental thing I ever did was……Marry an Albanian Prostitute for 15k when I was 22. I’m now 40 in June and we divorced 10 years ago. So I’m sure I can talk about it now lol. (Fuck it)

I Paid a mate a grand to Jet off to Albania with me and it was fuckin mental from day 1.

The day we arrived 3am, we were picked up by my wife to be’s Boyfriend slash Pimp in his top of the Range BMW. And went to their house. He offered us some white powder and said put this up ya nose lads….fuck knows what it was Haha…honest

Man…it was strong stuff. We had a few drinks and had a laugh. Then at bed time the Pimp said to me in his broken English accent “Hey Danny have you ever seen one of these” and proceeded to pull a loaded gun from under the floorboards.

Me like a nob said “oh yeah mate seen a few” when really I was bricking it.

He showed it me and my mate and put it back under the floor. Think he was showing us to say don’t fuck with me English boys Haha.

Then we said our goodnights and went to bed.

Me and my mate were high as kites and drunk as skunks. And the weather was so hot and humid. We had a fan to keep us cool, but every time I’d fall asleep my mate would pinch it and put it closer to him. And vice versa when he fell asleep.

Then he got pissed off, and pulled up the floorboards to get the loaded gun and proceeded to chase me around the room with it! Looking back now I think wtf were we thinking lol…absolute mad lads!

Then on maybe the 3rd day we got married and we went to a local river and had a bbq with all their friends. It was great until a fight broke out and me and my mate shat ourselves. Then the wife to be’s pimp went to his car and got his gun and the guys drove off. Then he chased them in his car. About an hour later he came back and took us back to our hotel. At the hotel he said to me “Danny hide this in your room tonight” and he gave me the gun!

Me like a retard shitting my knickers said “yeah ok mate”

Anyway we stayed in Elbasan Albania for 10 fucking days, and I was scared shitless for 9 of them haha.

Many other things happened over there, but this post would be long as fuck if I carried on typing.

So what’s the most mental thing you’ve ever done?

Top That!

Where did you get £15,000 from at that age mate, I bet she was mighty annoyed when she met you holding that picture of brad Pitt you sent her ?????

[Anonymous WANTED $483 Inactive]

Green2711 wrote:

Haha that is truly a mental story I’ve always wondered what life would be like living with someone you paid to marry/arranged marriages etc.

I defo can’t top that in fact I can’t really think of many crazy things I’ve done really always played it safe I guess. I do remember when I was around 20 I was out with a few mates and we saw a huge clock tower that was abandoned and falling apart and one of them suggests we go inside and climb it then have a joint at the top. It was absolutely massive I remember it had a stone spiral staircase at the bottom and we had to keep to the wall because the majority of the stairs has crumbled away as you got higher it changed to a wooden spiral staircase with the wood all rotted and falling apart and that freaking me out (obviously said nothing to the lads) when we finally got near the top there was a ladder leading up to a hatch but the wooden flooring leading to it had completely come away the only way to get on to the ladder was standing on this slim bit of metal sticking out the wall and shimmying across – we all managed to get up safe and sound and have a few drinks and a smoke but defintely irresponsible to do and to do it stoned and drunk was pretty fucking stupid. I couldn’t even enjoy the view when I was up there because I knew that we’d have to get down and that would be just as nerve racking.

That was in my younger days though nowadays the most excitement I get is deciding what new show to watch on Netflix haha

I never lived with her mate. Just married her so she could have a British passport lol. She was a lovely lass and we kept In touch for many years.

Your story is pretty mental too mate. Owt could have happened. Dangerous stuff is climbing abandoned buildings. Ya nutter.

 

[Anonymous WANTED $483 Inactive]

Hacko1 wrote:

Just Basics wrote:

I’ve done soooo many Crazy out there things in my life. But I’ve got to say the most mental thing I ever did was……Marry an Albanian Prostitute for 15k when I was 22. I’m now 40 in June and we divorced 10 years ago. So I’m sure I can talk about it now lol. (Fuck it)

I Paid a mate a grand to Jet off to Albania with me and it was fuckin mental from day 1.

The day we arrived 3am, we were picked up by my wife to be’s Boyfriend slash Pimp in his top of the Range BMW. And went to their house. He offered us some white powder and said put this up ya nose lads….fuck knows what it was Haha…honest

Man…it was strong stuff. We had a few drinks and had a laugh. Then at bed time the Pimp said to me in his broken English accent “Hey Danny have you ever seen one of these” and proceeded to pull a loaded gun from under the floorboards.

Me like a nob said “oh yeah mate seen a few” when really I was bricking it.

He showed it me and my mate and put it back under the floor. Think he was showing us to say don’t fuck with me English boys Haha.

Then we said our goodnights and went to bed.

Me and my mate were high as kites and drunk as skunks. And the weather was so hot and humid. We had a fan to keep us cool, but every time I’d fall asleep my mate would pinch it and put it closer to him. And vice versa when he fell asleep.

Then he got pissed off, and pulled up the floorboards to get the loaded gun and proceeded to chase me around the room with it! Looking back now I think wtf were we thinking lol…absolute mad lads!

Then on maybe the 3rd day we got married and we went to a local river and had a bbq with all their friends. It was great until a fight broke out and me and my mate shat ourselves. Then the wife to be’s pimp went to his car and got his gun and the guys drove off. Then he chased them in his car. About an hour later he came back and took us back to our hotel. At the hotel he said to me “Danny hide this in your room tonight” and he gave me the gun!

Me like a retard shitting my knickers said “yeah ok mate”

Anyway we stayed in Elbasan Albania for 10 fucking days, and I was scared shitless for 9 of them haha.

Many other things happened over there, but this post would be long as fuck if I carried on typing.

So what’s the most mental thing you’ve ever done?

Top That!

Where did you get £15,000 from at that age mate, I bet she was mighty annoyed when she met you holding that picture of brad Pitt you sent her

She payed me 15k lol. I married her so she could get a British passport. The 15k was inevitably spunked by me in 4 months flat lol.

Basically my mates mum worked as a receptionist at a swanky Brothel, and she asked me if I’d marry one of the girls for money…..I said “fuck yeah”

[Malkychamp WANTED $486 Outlaw]

Still got her number? Asking for a mate ?

[Anonymous WANTED $483 Inactive]

Malkychamp wrote:

Still got her number? Asking for a mate

Sure but…….She ain’t cheap!

[burders WANTED $55 Outlaw]

‘Just Basics’ a Ken Loach film, from the team that brought you Kes, comes an everyday story of an ordinary British working man who finds himself in an extraordinary situation. Boy meets girl, girl is Albanian prostitute with heart of gold, girl wants British passport, boy marries girl  under threat of fatal violence, boy starts business with undisclosed sum from mystery source, boy divorces girl, everybody lives happily ever after. The End.

Empire Magazine: By turns heart warming and life affirming, a triumph!

Mark Kermode: If I ate popcorn at the Cinema I would have choked on it!

The Guardian: A story of our time!

[St Steller WANTED $34 Outlaw]

Mine  was more stupid than crazy. At an Xmas party – After several beers i started on the Bacardi. Nobody else was touching it so i had a few more then a few more. People said i was knocking it back like Pop, but i didn’t feel close to being drunk. Before i knew it i’d drank the whole litre bottle in next to no time yet still didn’t feel drunk. A while later i started to feel drowsey so went for a lay on a bed and then it got really scary. This was a totally different feeling from the normal pissed up feeling.  I was about to nod off but i knew something was wrong, i rushed to the loo and vomited and a few mins later did it again then a few more after. I have no doubt that if i’d fallen asleep i’d have either chocked to death on my vomit or died of alcoholic poisoning. I’m now very careful when it comes to drinking shorts.

[Green2711 WANTED $492 Outlaw]

Haha I’ve been in that spot more than a few times.

Was living in a house share in Crewe a few years back and around Christmas all the house mates got together for a few drinks – I was knocking back the sailor jerries polished off a bottle to myself and then went to my room with the girlfriend (now ex) and cracked open a bottle of JD she’d had enough but I never know when to stop so finished the bottle of JD also and was getting ready for bed and decided to have a joint to help send me off so went downstairs had a smoke and was feeling alright started to walk back upstairs and It all hit me at once…head started spinning was down on one knee at the bottom of the stairs and suddenly felt the urge to spew up so started to crawl up the stairs and made it to the toilet and threw up for a good 10 minutes then I ended up putting my head down for 10 minutes next to the toilet…next thing I know there’s a knock on the toilet door and my ex was standing there asking if I’m alright and I’m like yeah why? She replies well you said you’d only be gone for 10 minutes and it’s been over 3 hours now. I was in the dog house the next day ?.

[Haz40 WANTED $1,167 Outlaw]

Green2711 wrote:

Haha I’ve been in that spot more than a few times.

Was living in a house share in Crewe a few years back and around Christmas all the house mates got together for a few drinks – I was knocking back the sailor jerries polished off a bottle to myself and then went to my room with the girlfriend (now ex) and cracked open a bottle of JD she’d had enough but I never know when to stop so finished the bottle of JD also and was getting ready for bed and decided to have a joint to help send me off so went downstairs had a smoke and was feeling alright started to walk back upstairs and It all hit me at once…head started spinning was down on one knee at the bottom of the stairs and suddenly felt the urge to spew up so started to crawl up the stairs and made it to the toilet and threw up for a good 10 minutes then I ended up putting my head down for 10 minutes next to the toilet…next thing I know there’s a knock on the toilet door and my ex was standing there asking if I’m alright and I’m like yeah why? She replies well you said you’d only be gone for 10 minutes and it’s been over 3 hours now. I was in the dog house the next day .

Similar story mate years ago went out clubbing in Leicester got home about 9am straight on the whisky. In pub for 12 drinking double vodka red bulls. Left pub about 5 and went to village pub. I can hardly remember a thing. Someone rang a taxi for about 8pm. Got home and threw up in the toilet. Fell asleep in the bathroom for 14 hours. Head hurt that day. It was the day England played Greece 2 2 Beckham free kick. My mate though rang me one day ( sorry this is different story) asked me and another mate to pick him up. He’d been to works Xmas do in Grimsby which is about 30 miles from where I live. We said yeah sure. He then said well I’m now in Walsall and I don’t know how he’d got there. He’d got a taxi to go over 100 miles after the do to see a lass in Walsall

[1p 1pstaker WANTED $25 Outlaw]

This is not dangerous or anything just rather odd. My oldest was christened in ireland, so my family made a trip of it. Dinner was a really lovely beef stew. Went out, came back a bit worse for wear, and noticed the pot still there and seemingly still half full. So me and my dad warmed it up and ate most of it. Next morning, my mother in law, started shouting “wheres the  fecking stew gone”? Before she went to bed, she put 2 tins of dog food in it and was going to give it to the dogs in the morning. From memory, it was bloody lovely!!

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