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[pe peterc2018 WANTED $7 Outlaw]

Hi all,

I wanted to share my story (briefly) in the hope that it might make a difference to anyone struggling with gambling.

I have joined Gamstop and can’t stop thinking about gambline online. It feels like I’ve come out of a longterm relationship. I know it sounds pathetic but gambling was THE most important thing in my life – it was a constant.

I have been a compulsive gambler for more than 20 years. It started with fruit machines, then betting shops and for the last few years – online casinos. My addiction became so bad, I made a serious attempt at suicide in July this year. It wasnt a cry for help, I had researched what I needed to do and didnt tell anyone. I failed.

I don’t know why I gambled, I still dont. I used to tell myself it was about the money, however in hindsight I dont think it was. I had great wins, £20,000 every few months wasn’t uncommon – this was hugely influenced by the Rocknrolla and his £20 spins on Dolphins Pearl. I dont in anyway blame him, I was easily influenced and for a short period I was winning, but as we all all know, that soons stops and you can never win enough – we always want more. I very rarely withdrew these amounts, perhaps a couple of thousand every now and then but that soon went back in. If I did cash out the money it would only take a day before I wanted to try and replicate my gambling success.

Everytime I got paid I would tell myself I was going to spend my ‘spare’ money at the casino, however even when I won, I never took the money and always tried to win more…constantly setting a new bottom line. Naturally before long I was chasing losses with money that was meant for bills etc.

In June of this year, I lost everything….again. I added thousands of pounds to my Fiance’s credit card, maxed it out (for the second time in our relationship) and had no way of winning the money back. I kept this a secret, I stole it. Like I say, this was the secons time I had done this, although the first time was mainly used to pay a self employment tax bill.

I carefully researched how to kill myself, bought the pills I needed and tried. I didnt suggest or tell anyone what I intended to do, I just wanted it all to be over. I obviously failed, however I spent a few weeks in a mental health hospital, came out and spent time with family. I am now still on the road to recovery – the first thing I did was join Gamstop. It is in my opinion the greatest thing in the world.

I broke up with my Fiancee for a while, however we are now working things out and I’m doing everything I can to pay the money back. I understand that not everyone is going to be as fortunate as me to have such an amazing support network. We all have each other though – nobody can understand what we, as compulsive gamblers are going through despite them wanting to.

I suppose the point of this post, is in fact to say that even when you are at rock bottom and see no way out – things can get better. It may feel impossible and I still look back and wonder how I found my way out of that dark hole. It’s hard, it’s frustrating, it’s sad and it can and probably will be lonely at times. I live in hope that next year or the year after I’ll be able to look back on this and see it as a lesson, albeit it an emotionally and financially expensive one. I really hope that in the future I can be in a position to help others because the online gambling problem is only going to get worse and worse.

Life has got better.

I no longer have secrets. I feel free. The money I earn is all accounted for, I don’t have to lie to those I love – that, to me means more than ANY slot or win!

If you are struggling, I really hope this post has given you some hope. If anyone needs someone to talk to, feel free to message me.

That’s all 🙂

[Clownprosecution WANTED $15 Blocked]

Hope your on the up now and life doesn’t feel as grim. As much as the casinos and bookies like to promote responsible gambling it’s not true – you are the exact discerning customer they want gambling with them. Someone reckless who never knows when to stop it’s called recurring revenue. Casinos do not care about you or your story.

[Anonymous WANTED $110 Inactive]

Hope u doing well now on, hope the future will be much better for you good luck

[ayma4quit WANTED $47 Outlaw]

Thanks for sharing mate, all that sounds very familiar. In my darkest moments, I thought about ending it all, but literally didn’t have the balls to do it.

I attended GA for 3 years and whilst it might not be everyone’s cup of tea, it genuinely helped me understand the addiction. I’ve gambled since, but never quite as recklessly before and have never been in the shit with money because of what I learned. I too have now signed up to Gamstop and it feels like a weight off the shoulders

Sincere best wishes for the future, stay strong and take it a day at a time.

[BJM86 WANTED $22 Outlaw]

Hi Peterc2018,

Thanks for sharing, that is a difficult thing to admit and put out there for anyone to see so much respect for that.

I hope you continue your recovery.

You raise a very important point however which is how easily addicts of anything can be influenced, which ties into the current debate around whether online gambling should be limited like the FOBT’s

I’m a regular watcher of all kinds of gambling streams, videos etc but recently my feeling around it ‘helping people’ has changed dramatically and I honestly feel that it’s not, in fact the sole reason they exist is to get people to gamble.

That will likely prompt a lot of anger or abuse that people are responsible for themselves, and it’s a minority that are at risk but still the reality is that it harms people. In real terms a good proportion of those people signing up today or tomorrow are the people like you and I of today, only 5-10 years down the line.

For me something needs to be done about that, I don’t blame any of the ‘influencers’ they are serving a purpose and making a living during a specific moment in time but for me the only way that can go is down eventually.

Affiliate marketing isn’t new, but streaming is and that’s where I see the next limitations on ‘advertising’ which affiliate streaming essentially is, being enforced.

I’m a complete hypocrite because I love all the content I consume but never less the situation is the situation.

All the best for the future!!

[Author]

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