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[br bradurrrrz WANTED $3 Outlaw]

ive gambled 15 years and after losing it all Jan 2018 I finally got the help I needed. I’ve had blips since but no access to my money has reduced the effects. I lost 40k over 3 months when it all fell apart. And lost my girlfriend and house with it.

Any other recovering gamblers, do you struggle with regret and shame looking back? As it eats me up daily. I know it can’t be undone but making peace with it I’m struggling with.

I hurt and let down a lot of people through those years and did unspeakable things. But when I was asked how did you feel, in that moment, gambling. Winning or losing. I felt numb. Nothing compares to that feeling. And that feeling I’ve had since 14. And replacing it is proving impossible.

[Anonymous WANTED $483 Inactive]

It’s a hard subject mate.

My own personal experience is a fucking head banger.

I did so much horrible shit in my 20’s to early 30’s that would make your skin crawl. All due to gambling. I lost everything just like you.

To this day I have weekly dreams about how happy i really was back then. Loved ones and girlfriends that Id lost due to my own selfish reasoning. It’s a total head fuck. And I’m posetive that the feelings will never leave me.

All I can do now is try to be a better man to the ones in my life. Sure I was a prick back then and the habit consumed me totally. But now I at least try to control it.

i learned the fucking hardest way possible.

Life is full of regret. But once you get past it. It then becomes whatever you want it to be.

We are the masters of our own success. All it takes is will power.

[Li Liberty WANTED $132 Outlaw]

It’s hard, you’ve accepted you are solely to blame for it which is good.

Here is a suggestion, write a letter to your girlfriend you fucked over with your actions with heartfelt apologies. This can be a very emotional process even if you feel numb inside now, try to imagine how you made them feel while you are writing it.

Afterwards burn it or send it, the choice is yours, the main point of it is for some closure to that part of your life. You can’t change the past, only learn from it. When you have a serious gambling problem you almost lock out emotion and empathy because you are single mindedly focused on getting your fix, whatever the cost. It can be cathartic.

Then find a gamblers anonymous and go and listen, you’re far from alone. You are alive and hopefully healthy and humans can recover from almost anything. It will take time and you’ll think about it less and less but you’ll move on from this point. Just don’t go back to gambling mate.

Good luck.

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