It is with great sorrow and sadness that I announce Steve “the bandit” has passed away. Speculation on how he passed is emerging very slowly but ideas are being presented as we speak.
The first rumour was that he was crushed by a giant opal fruit that fell off the back of a lorry, just outside Liverpool city centre. The second was that he caught covid the gamblers variant and sneezed so hard he back head butted the tupenny nudger slot causing a massive bloodclaat on the brain. It was also said that while his family offered to pay for damages to the slot cabinet, it wasn’t required because well, they don’t make cabinets like that anymore. There was also a theory that he jumped out the second floor window onto a bouncy castle but three days after bouncing and someone shouting “where’d he go????” he still hasn’t landed. Nasa were called for assistance but said they couldn’t care less. One hopes Steve at least lands safely in the nearest canal, or on Boris Johnson. Smell preferred over embarrassing associations.
Have you heard any rumours on how Bandit met a sleepy end ?
Drop a comment.
