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20th February 2019 at 10:56 am #49831
My Dad is a very sick puppy atm. All due to drinking. He was rushed to hospital a year ago due to him throwing up pints after pints of blood. He was put in theatre and operated on. And they found that all his insides were spouting blood leaks all over the place. I cant remember the medical term. Basically they patched him up like bike tyre and brought him around. When I went to the hospital to see him, he was bright yellow and looked truly awful. But he was talking so I thanked God.
3 days after the operation I was sat by his bedside in the ICU and he threw up what looked like a gallon of blood right infront of me. It was the most horrific thing I have ever seen. And it made me cry like a child.
They rushed him back into theatre and tried to patch him up again, but his insides were an awful mess. So they had to do the best they could. The doctor explained to us that he needed a procedure called Stent and Stack, where they inflate a balloon inside him to press against the bleeding. And then tie the end of it to the end of his bed using a weight. It’s pretty awful to look at but it was the only they could do. He was placed in an induced coma and we waited for over a week. The doctors told us that they had never in all their years seen so much bleeding. And it was the hand of God that was making him still be here. We were told of another procedure that he could have had called TIPS, but he wasn’t eligible due to there being a sist on his portal veign connected to his liver.
This went on for 3 months in and out of comas, back and forth with the Stent and Stack. And losing over 20 to 30 pints of blood. Basically there isnt a single drop of his own blood in his system anymore.
He finally came around and we got him back. Fuck knows how. We were planning his funeral and preparing for the worst. I was soon happy that we got our pappy back. The doctors said to us he had a few years left maybe. But his body was so badly damaged, that it was just a matter of time before his body would eventually fail him.
So here’s my problem. We got him a new house with assisted living and he loved it for over a year. But something about 6 weeks ago triggered him to drink again. He has been back in hospital twice since then. Once from bleeding and once from him not being able to breath correctly.
He has told me that he is NOT going to stop drinking anymore, that it’s his own choice and asked for me not to treat him like a child.
If he carries on drinking he has maybe a couple of months left. He knows this but he has chosen to do it anyway. I love my Dad with all my heart and I don’t want him to leave me. But I also don’t want to spend what time I have with him arguing about an addiction that I really have no idea about. I have an addiction but it’s no way close to life threatening like his.
What do I do? My heart says I just let him be who he wants to be. But my head says otherwise.
Sorry this was so long. But I haven’t really spoken to my family about it.
JB X
120th February 2019 at 11:01 am #49852Tough one mate, it sounds like he has decided that he knows he doesn’t have a long time left and doesn’t want to spend that time not doing as he pleases, yes the drinking may well shorten his life further but choosing between 12 months of miserableness or 6 months of being happy then we would all probably do the same. Some might say he is being a little selfish but then again, some may say that he has come to terms with and accepted the inevitable and is enjoying his time that he has left.
It would be different if the diagnosis was “if you stop drinking you will live a happy life for years and years” but it doesn’t seem that is the case?
1120th February 2019 at 11:09 am #49855Touching story jb. Honest answer I don’t know. Personally I think no matter what you say he’s going to carry on drinking regardless. I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is can you stop him drinking if you chose to. If the answer is no then you have to spend the time he has left enjoying life with him and as you say not arguing.
1120th February 2019 at 11:19 am #49857So sorry JB, I could only read the first part and had to stop 🙁 Lost my mom to 5 types of cancer with a 4 week notice from the docs. On point, she was gone and it was the hardest time of my life. Just make sure people are around who care and love, that provides a better basis for better final memories. One of mine is kidnapping mom from the ward and taking her to visit friends. I’ll explain who that’s not as bad as it sounds later. Oh and she punched me. Bloody woman. I miss her.
1120th February 2019 at 11:56 am #49861Thanks so much for the replys. And sorry to hear about your mom Mr B. Awesome that you kidnapped her though lol. What a wonderful memory.
Yeah think I’m just gonna let my dad be who he wants to be, and hope he manages to drink in a way that isn’t gonna over power his body.
No way do I wanna spend the time I have left with him arguing. So…
“C’est La Vie”
Better to just love him for who he is…an amazing Pappy.
Thx again guys X
120th February 2019 at 12:01 pm #49863Thanks so much for the replys. And sorry to hear about your mom Mr B. Awesome that you kidnapped her though lol. What a wonderful memory.
Yeah think I’m just gonna let my dad be who he wants to be, and hope he manages to drink in a way that isn’t gonna over power his body.
No way do I wanna spend the time I have left with him arguing. So…
“C’est La Vie”
Better to just love him for who he is…an amazing Pappy.
Thx again guys X
That’s definitely the right approach – you want to spend the final months with him chatting about life and enjoying yourself, not continually arguing about his activities.
At the end of the day what is going to happen could happen at any time regardless of whether he is drinking or not if his health is that poorly. Let the guy do what he enjoys doing during his final time.
When I finally go I hope its because I have ignored the doctors advice to stop having nightly orgies with a bevy of 21 year old buxom blondes, . Hopefully my son will not try to talk me out of it
1220th February 2019 at 3:16 pm #49893My heart goes out to you lad, it must be very difficult for you at this moment in time.
1120th February 2019 at 4:22 pm #49899feel ur pain bud sound like u hav a smashing relationship with ur da .and his reasoning must seem baffling to u and ur family . who knows how people make these decisions ? but im sure in his mind it is the right one .so i would respect that and get back to doing what u did b4 and enjoy whatever time is left .i just burried my auld maw last thurs and due to family arguments about her funeral arrangements my last 2 conversations with my brother wernt the best and on monday he sadly passed and im gutted. life is short enough mate . all the best
20th February 2019 at 5:05 pm #49907feel ur pain bud sound like u hav a smashing relationship with ur da .and his reasoning must seem baffling to u and ur family . who knows how people make these decisions ? but im sure in his mind it is the right one .so i would respect that and get back to doing what u did b4 and enjoy whatever time is left .i just burried my auld maw last thurs and due to family arguments about her funeral arrangements my last 2 conversations with my brother wernt the best and on monday he sadly passed and im gutted. life is short enough mate . all the best
Sorry to hear that buddy. Life deals us some right shit sometimes dunnit.
Hope you have plenty of nice memories of them mate X
Yeah I think its time to just accept what my dad wants and crack on.
20th February 2019 at 5:07 pm #49908Thanks so much for the replys. And sorry to hear about your mom Mr B. Awesome that you kidnapped her though lol. What a wonderful memory.
Yeah think I’m just gonna let my dad be who he wants to be, and hope he manages to drink in a way that isn’t gonna over power his body.
No way do I wanna spend the time I have left with him arguing. So…
“C’est La Vie”
Better to just love him for who he is…an amazing Pappy.
Thx again guys X
That’s definitely the right approach – you want to spend the final months with him chatting about life and enjoying yourself, not continually arguing about his activities.
At the end of the day what is going to happen could happen at any time regardless of whether he is drinking or not if his health is that poorly. Let the guy do what he enjoys doing during his final time.
When I finally go I hope its because I have ignored the doctors advice to stop having nightly orgies with a bevy of 21 year old buxom blondes, . Hopefully my son will not try to talk me out of it
Ha I will the same in my final days!
20th February 2019 at 6:07 pm #49927So sorry to hear this mate. I can only imagine what you’re going through.
I know it’s not the same but I found my grandad passed away on New Years Day 2012 whilst taking him a daily newspaper.
He was 83 and tone deaf. As he was deaf he got most of his enjoyment out of his sight and you’ve guessed it, it was slots that he really got a kick out of.
He spent his final 50 grand on slots and I’m glad he did rather than leaving it in a will. At least he got to enjoy what he had earned through life in his final months.
Not quite the same but you see where I’m coming from mate. Take care bud.
20th February 2019 at 6:28 pm #49930So sorry to hear this mate. I can only imagine what you’re going through.
I know it’s not the same but I found my grandad passed away on New Years Day 2012 whilst taking him a daily newspaper.
He was 83 and tone deaf. As he was deaf he got most of his enjoyment out of his sight and you’ve guessed it, it was slots that he really got a kick out of.
He spent his final 50 grand on slots and I’m glad he did rather than leaving it in a will. At least he got to enjoy what he had earned through life in his final months.
Not quite the same but you see where I’m coming from mate. Take care bud.
Hopefully he didn’t spend it on Extra Chilli – that would have lasted him about an hour 🙂 Alternatively he could have played Holy Diver and got 10 bonuses all playing 5x.
20th February 2019 at 6:39 pm #49933So sorry to hear this mate. I can only imagine what you’re going through.
I know it’s not the same but I found my grandad passed away on New Years Day 2012 whilst taking him a daily newspaper.
He was 83 and tone deaf. As he was deaf he got most of his enjoyment out of his sight and you’ve guessed it, it was slots that he really got a kick out of.
He spent his final 50 grand on slots and I’m glad he did rather than leaving it in a will. At least he got to enjoy what he had earned through life in his final months.
Not quite the same but you see where I’m coming from mate. Take care bud.
Hopefully he didn’t spend it on Extra Chilli – that would have lasted him about an hour
Alternatively he could have played Holy Diver and got 10 bonuses all playing 5x.Nah mate, all on the FOBT’s I’m afraid. Ahh well, he earned it, he saved it, I’m just glad he enjoyed it.
20th February 2019 at 7:30 pm #49960Tough times JB… My heart goes out to you 2 J. B. and hope you’re father stops drinking again soon…..
20th February 2019 at 8:11 pm #49972Jb it’s not worth the arguments mate just try and accept that’s what he wants for years I argued with my mum over it but she wouldn’t stop she would say she has but they hide it from you and you catch them drinking again it’s not worth the arguments mate trust me I lost mine about 2weeks ago if I could go back I wouldn’t want to be arguing all the time just let him he himself and enjoy what he lives doing just have happy times with eachother mate there the memory’s you want with each other
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So sorry to hear this mate. I can only imagine what you’re going through.
I know it’s not the same but I found my grandad passed away on New Years Day 2012 whilst taking him a daily newspaper.
He was 83 and tone deaf. As he was deaf he got most of his enjoyment out of his sight and you’ve guessed it, it was slots that he really got a kick out of.
He spent his final 50 grand on slots and I’m glad he did rather than leaving it in a will. At least he got to enjoy what he had earned through life in his final months.
Not quite the same but you see where I’m coming from mate. Take care bud.
Hopefully he didn’t spend it on Extra Chilli – that would have lasted him about an hour
Alternatively he could have played Holy Diver and got 10 bonuses all playing 5x.Nah mate, all on the FOBT’s I’m afraid. Ahh well, he earned it, he saved it, I’m just glad he enjoyed it.
