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[rc rc2020 WANTED $5 Outlaw]

Hi guys, today the 6th of June 2020 i signed upto gamstop.

Today, weeks and months years ago i realised i am and always will be a problem gambler. Ive taken the first step and I hope and pray this will be the first of many. Ive just had enough. My names Ryan and i am a gambling addict. Years of lien financial problems ( own fault) depression distancing from family has taken its toal. As i sit here writing this, i dont know if i am relieved, happy depressed i dont think i feel any emotion towards it. I want to be better, i want to win at life i want somthing to go my way. 27 2 kids a wife i feel ever more distant than before. Looking back over the years i havent been the person i can be. Pushing people away who try and help ignoring my family for a quick go on the slots. Days out would be the wife and the two girls with me in the house, if she did actually manage to pull me out for a family day i was there in person but not emotionally. Ive seriously fucked up the definition of what a man a father and a husband should be, i want to be what they stand for and today was the first step. All those times of distancing myself all those times of pushing my family away to feed my own selfish addiction are hopfully a thing of the past. Gambling is a serious serious illness in this country and not enough is done to help people, yes there is help there but in my opinion not enough. As always it comes down to one thing for me, money! There cant, and will never be enough done when moneys involved. Whats your opinion on it? Of course people will say its about will power, indeed you are correct in a sense. But then again if you say to an alcoholic, heres a can, a drug addict theres a line a pill etc what would they choose? The fun had stopped for me years and years ago. As i try explain in this post what i am thinking, i also need to tell the truth. Ive tried several times to take my own life by trying to take an overdose, i dont know if this was down to gambling or depression or a mixture of both but it was done though matter the root cause. I dont want to feel like that anymore, i dont want to feel sick to the stomach of life as it can offer some amazing things and today will hopefully bring some new change. Whos knows what tomorrow holds, there is still plenty of time left in 2020 i plan to make this a good year and forget the past years ?

[davieg123 WANTED $22 Outlaw]

Hi Ryan,

You must be commended firstly for your honesty and most gamblers can probably relate to your story albeit without the suicide, saying that, your family must now be your focus and its this that will get you through the tough times ahead. You have to convert the buzz from gambling into the family fun and happiness times and don’t look book as what’s done is done. The future is up to you as we only get one shot so it’s time you were there for your girls. If you ever need to talk contact stevie and he will provide my details if he feels it’s allowed through his website.

#Iunderstand,

David Gibb.

[Bamboozler WANTED $23 Outlaw]

Well done Ryan,

You are taking some difficult steps in order to improve both your own life and that of your family. No doubt it will be rewarding but that reward will be lifelong and should provide you with an adrenaline fuelled sense of achievement that will dwarf any transient joy arising from a gambling win.

I’m sure that you will have difficult times ahead and that you must stay strong, You are still very young with everything to fight for and i wish you will in your path to a long lasting happiness unblighted by gambling.

Good luck

[Smokingbeagle WANTED $59 Outlaw]

Dude I applause your self awareness .

hood luck on your journey it will be hard but you will be amazed don’t how much money you end up having due to this .

i would suggest a small hobby to fill the void of this it also helps . Gaming or a musical instrument

[rc rc2020 WANTED $5 Outlaw]

Thanks for reply guys, soon as i hit that post button i felt a bit of relief. Feels good to talk, we need to talk more. And thanks for offering to be there for a chat. In time i hope i can be there for sombody else to talk about the ups and downs and just maybe help them through to the otherside. I will be filling my time until back at work with the family, few long overdue movie nights and pizza. From then on ill be balls deep in conspiracy theorys ( love a good listen to them) and patiently waiting on the bandits next video. Although some may say you shouldn’t watch slot videos when going off it, i cant gamble now so. If i continue to watch them and still get the itch ill maybe think about stopping. Ive self excluded for a year i think. Next will be to contact the bank to block gambling transactions as we all know there will be casinos out there where you can slide past gamstop. If any of you guys could correct me id be greatful, is it stepchange that help you with your finances i.e put debt into one payment etc ( not in serious debt around £2000) would like it all into the one instead of direct debts coming in all corners lol. Hopefully with the extra cash that will be built up over the next coming months it will be sat aside for a hoilday/ ew car next year. But the ultimate goal sack the debt the hoilday its about being the man the father i want to be, and without the gambling i can be that anything that comes along with that is an extra bonus ?

[Li Lifeslots WANTED $59 Outlaw]

Nice one Ryan,

Time is Money, spend it wisely.
Glad you’ve realised your family is always No1

🙂

[Rob Luck WANTED $4 Outlaw]

Let’s all give this guy a big round of applause, he’s half way there just by admiting it it’s not only a forum it’s a community here to listen and give support when needed.

Well done mate

????

[mattowl1867 WANTED $34 Outlaw]

Hey Ryan,

I’m struck by your story and even more so by your approach, so honest and open! Congratulations man.

 

How did you tell the partner about this!? I feel i am at breaking point with mine as i bury more losses under a guise of another lie. Getting fed up of it all now and pushing people away!

Your post is inspiring.

[Dr DrSnow WANTED $6 Outlaw]

Good luck OP.  I’ve been through a similar thing….one thing I know for sure is that you put the work in with your kids they will forgive you and you can start from scratch with them.  You can start to rebuild your soul.

[rc rc2020 WANTED $5 Outlaw]

And thats exactly why ive posted it, i can hide behind a username where people dont know me personally its 100% easier to post be open and honest and there is people to talk when its good bad or ugly.

[rc rc2020 WANTED $5 Outlaw]

Thats the one thing i havent the balls to do mattowl mate, i cant tell the wife. It would mean i would loose the last thing i have, the family. In all honesty but, i should and so should you but for me it would be game over. Ill struggle on myself as long as i can and if i do manage to turn things around i.e clear my debt etc i will tell her further down the line but thats the wrong thing to do. If i can give you one bit of advice even though i am doing the opposite its be honest with your partner i dont know your current situation with them. Drsnow thats the plan mate, get my life back on track, be the person i really want to be and need to be. It could take months years but yesterday was a start, it will be a long painful hill but theres a goal at the top. The goal, instead of clicking deposit/spin its cuddles smiles love affection. It was hard, very hard to post op but made alot easier by hiding behind rc2020.

[Dr DrSnow WANTED $6 Outlaw]

Mate, look, like me I think you’ve been seriously depressed for a long time and not really know about it – the only solace is clicking that button – heck, I bet you don’t even get that much of a buzz from a 500x and you probably get in the pattern of getting in a hole, escaping that hole, getting back into the hole and so on an so forth.  If I may, I shall give you some advice, I’m three and a half years from my wife chucking me out.

1.  Streamers – Personally sometimes I find them really triggering and they make me want to play, so other than the Bandit (I love the content but honestly can’t relate to £40 spins and gambling 20K on a press) so unsub from all the streamers.

2.  Exercise, I’ve become a fat C**t during my years of self isolation and as a result my self esteem (which was already pretty crap) was almost a rock bottom.  I’m running and walking 4 times a week and getting out into the countryside – it’s really helped my soul at lot – it’s helped me to appreciate life again.

3.  Kids – Thank christ but me and my son are best friends now and you can do the same, as soon as your depression starts to life you can start being that little less selfish.  Chuck a bag of water and some snacks in a bad and take them for a walk down the river, it really is that simple to start.

4.  Your soul.  I’ve mentioned it a few times and I’m probably repeating myself but I’ve realised that feeding your self with positive and practical things really can help, as soon as lockdown is properly over I’m taking a tent and going camping, I’m loving the thought of a long walk, steak cooked over an open fire and a pint of wine, ha ha.

5.  Honesty with your partner – It’s a tough call, if she loves you and you’re honest and you can show her what you’ve done and are doing to change then it could work but I understand why you wouldn’t, it’s frightening.

 

 

[rc rc2020 WANTED $5 Outlaw]

DrSnow wrote:

Mate, look, like me I think you’ve been seriously depressed for a long time and not really know about it – the only solace is clicking that button – heck, I bet you don’t even get that much of a buzz from a 500x and you probably get in the pattern of getting in a hole, escaping that hole, getting back into the hole and so on an so forth.  If I may, I shall give you some advice, I’m three and a half years from my wife chucking me out.

1.  Streamers – Personally sometimes I find them really triggering and they make me want to play, so other than the Bandit (I love the content but honestly can’t relate to £40 spins and gambling 20K on a press) so unsub from all the streamers.

2.  Exercise, I’ve become a fat C**t during my years of self isolation and as a result my self esteem (which was already pretty crap) was almost a rock bottom.  I’m running and walking 4 times a week and getting out into the countryside – it’s really helped my soul at lot – it’s helped me to appreciate life again.

3.  Kids – Thank christ but me and my son are best friends now and you can do the same, as soon as your depression starts to life you can start being that little less selfish.  Chuck a bag of water and some snacks in a bad and take them for a walk down the river, it really is that simple to start.

4.  Your soul.  I’ve mentioned it a few times and I’m probably repeating myself but I’ve realised that feeding your self with positive and practical things really can help, as soon as lockdown is properly over I’m taking a tent and going camping, I’m loving the thought of a long walk, steak cooked over an open fire and a pint of wine, ha ha.

5.  Honesty with your partner – It’s a tough call, if she loves you and you’re honest and you can show her what you’ve done and are doing to change then it could work but I understand why you wouldn’t, it’s frightening.

 

 

Great advice, and noted. Camping sounds a great idea. Definitely will be food for thought that. Pack up get the bus ( good old reliable audi has shit thrown her final fit lol) jump out somewhere in the middle of nowhere and find a place to pitch. Im from Ireland, spoilt for choice with scenery here luckily ?

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