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[nf nffcfan WANTED $8 Outlaw]

I just don’t see where it even starts anymore.

Deposits seem to disappear faster than ever before with absolutely nothing in return other than more overdraft and loan interest repayments.

I self excluded via Gamstop for 6 years and have recently taken to setting up accounts in my mums name and transferring money into her account before I deposit so she doesn’t realise whats happening.

I took out a loan the other day after finally getting my self sorted credit record wise, to consolidate my outstanding debts, and of course have now blown a fair chunk of this playing absolute shit, being reckless and trying to hit these features you see on YouTube paying out day after day.

Again a deposit tonight relatively small of £100 summed up the where the fun stops question with me not hitting a single bonus on any slot playing small at 40p a spin just where was the fun?

Before last week I had never played monopoly live or spin n win and all of a sudden last week I was doing £100 / £200 spins trying to recover after stupidly upping my bets thinking that a 2 has to come in next, obviously it didn’t on any of the next 5 spins day after day until I was broke or couldn’t deposit anymore.

I just haven’t got the fight anymore I work pretty hard and have a income but just can’t stop myself from finding ways to gamble.

Im nearly 40 years old still living at home with my parents and have probably earned a fair amount over the last 15 years and all I have to show for it now are pair of loans I will struggle to pay and a fairly chunky overdraft.

I just no longer feel like I will ever win this battle as deep down I don’t know how to give up or have the willpower to do it.

Last year I was granted a residential place with Gordon Moody but with me working had to find the money to pay for the treatment myself but this obviously then never happened as I couldn’t raise the money as I was living pay day to pay day and every payday was straight out of work into the arcades.

At the same time I just wasn’t ready to stop and even now don’t know how exactly you say goodbye to something that has been a part of your life for nearly 30 years and something you almost feel like you live to do.

I haven’t had a partner for just under 20 years and don’t ever see how I could have one with how much hate I have for myself and the fact I know I can’t be trusted or have anyone depend on me.

Gambling has taken so much that I just don’t know what’s left anymore, what the purpose is, or why in fact I was given such a shitty horrible disease that’s so damaging but so easy to hide.

Sorry for the long post, I’ve just found myself at a crossroad and don’t know where to go! Maybe writing this down will be the start of the new road ahead.

 

[Haz40 WANTED $1,167 Outlaw]

I’m here to tell you it can be done. After 30 years plus of gambling i stopped last June. I had 8k in debts and like you not much else to show for it. I was sick of just never winning although i did have one decent win last may. I’ve had one lapse last December and that’s it. I’ve been back on gamstop 9 months now and before that i was bad. I never believed i could do it. Gambling was all i knew and couldn’t see a way out. Believe me it’s not easy but like lots of things time definitely makes it easier. One day at a time and with each day comes the mindset of not wanting to ruin the hard work which you have done gets easier. Good luck now is the time for change and believe me it will be the best thing you ever did.

[Winningbird WANTED $574 Outlaw]

Totally agree with Haz. You can do it, you can change. If you feel like you need to, put your parents on gamstop as well as yourself. Ring the bank and ask them to block any gambling transactions. I would also recommend you order a new card and scratch off the security code on the back so you cant  gamble online. Most casinos need this to deposit.

You can stop, you just want to have to stop in your head. It’s not an easy journey, but I have every faith you can do it.

 

Haz, well done ? proud of you x

[Ba Bambigotshot WANTED $14 Blocked]

I am astounded that your mother doesn’t see all the stuff going in and out of her account, if someone put only £100 in my account I would wonder where it came from.

Only 5 years ago we are were at the mercy of our addictions but now help is here.  You can use Gamstop/Gamban to stop online gambling.  You can self exclude from every bookies in as wide a radius as you want with one phone call.  You can fill out a form at any arcade for self exclusion.   Credit Card gambling is now being banned, and you can stop all gambling transactions on your bank account with a simple button online, suggest you do this with your mothers card and any other you have access to.   If you do all of that and can still find a way to gamble you are a better man than me gunga din.   Once you have no way of accessing gambling you will be amazed at how quickly the urges disappear

ignore the streamers big wins, many of them are not using their own money or carrying out selective editing,   If you want to see realism look at the Bandit losing £75k in one session, or read hypalinks end of year blogs where he lists h is losses over 12 months.   If ever website had a big losses and as well as a big wins page, i’m sure the losses would outweigh the wins.

40 is not old, 5 years down the line you will have paid off your loans and can start afresh, or you can carry on as you are and post the same thing here in 20 years.   It’s your choice, but you have to want it and you have to commit to it.J  ust take your current position as a final warning, move on and remember you get one life, there are no second chances, or do-overs,     Sort your shit out or end up in 30 years as one of those sad old guys with holes in their shoes in the bookies, screaming at the TV screen because you have bet the last £5 of your pension on a 3 legged donkey.

And don’t worry about living alone, women are more expensive than slots :-).

 

 

[Ba Bambigotshot WANTED $14 Blocked]

Winningbird wrote:

would also recommend you order a new card and scratch off the security code on the back so you cant  gamble online.

Good luck ordering stuff online :-).   You don’t even have to ring your bank to block gambling transactions with many of the banks now.  You can do it on the online app, and you can’t unblock it yourself.    You have to ring the bank and then wait 48 hours, this is a great move, as it takes away the sudden urges.  Once your card is blocked you can’t gamble online anyway, security code or not.   Even Bolivian Big Win Casino can’t take deposits, gamban registered or not.

[Ha HappyShopper82 WANTED $8 Outlaw]

For what it’s worth there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Years ago I was in a similar position although back then blackjack was my poison. What started with £1 hands as a bit of fun in uni/between lectures became over a month’s wages (per hand) within a short period once I was working, Typically I’d win a decent amount over a few weeks/months then do my brains in a matter of hours. I used to think there was something wrong with me as all my friends were getting on in life, careers etc. and there I was using gambling to supplement my income for the crappy job I had. Fortunately I think I made myself so sick of blackjack I eventually kicked it into touch, it would occasionally rear it’s head and I might lose a few hundred but thankfully it didn’t excite me in the same way anymore.

Years later I was made redundant and shortly after my father died. Because my mother had health conditions I became an unpaid carer as it wouldn’t have been practical for me to work around her various medical appointments. This was very much sink or swim for me as I had significant debts from some shares went tits up. It was at this point that I got into heavily matched betting, specifically focussing on slots and over 2.5yrs later I’ve taken well over £100k from the casinos without a losing month (I play slots everyday). This is by no means a brag, as during this time I’ve learned a lot about myself and my attitude to gambling, therefore my takeaways are as follows:-

1. If you have a history of chasing losses, gambling more than you can afford to lose and feeling hopeless and sick about it YOU HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM. It will never go away, it’s the the way your brain is wired so just accept it. I also have one, I just control it.

2. Identify your ’tilts’, this will be different for everyone but personally I always lost the most money when in a relaxed state of mind (playing on my phone/watching TV etc.), so identify the situations where a tilt is likely and avoid that situation. So if you get tilted playing pub fruit machines, leave the debit card at home etc. You’ll save a lot in the long run. Our brains comprise logic and emotion, if you put yourself in a position where the barriers to emotion are reduced, e.g. relaxed, under influence of alcohol etc. you’re more likely to lose money as it’s only when emotion leaves and logic kicks in will you kick yourself for the damage that emotion did.

3. Never gamble with expectation of winning. Having done this nearly 3yrs as a primary source of income ALL my big wins have been unexpected and any losses are always when playing with expectation. If you do gamble, need to scratch that itch, set a budget, have no expectation and you won’t be disappointed.

4. Find something to be passionate about and focus your energy/finances on that. If you add up all the time, stress, and money wasted chasing losses that’s you’ll find it would always be better spent elsewhere. Start a business or side gig for example, focus your energy on earning rather than hoping for a financial boost.

Hope that helps, I’m by no means gamblers anonymous as these are merely my observations on the subject. If you need any help drop me a message.

[Ba Bambigotshot WANTED $14 Blocked]

HappyShopper82 wrote:

For what it’s worth there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Years ago I was in a similar position although back then blackjack was my poison. What started with £1 hands as a bit of fun in uni/between lectures became over a month’s wages (per hand) within a short period once I was working, Typically I’d win a decent amount over a few weeks/months then do my brains in a matter of hours. I used to think there was something wrong with me as all my friends were getting on in life, careers etc. and there I was using gambling to supplement my income for the crappy job I had. Fortunately I think I made myself so sick of blackjack I eventually kicked it into touch, it would occasionally rear it’s head and I might lose a few hundred but thankfully it didn’t excite me in the same way anymore.

Years later I was made redundant and shortly after my father died. Because my mother had health conditions I became an unpaid carer as it wouldn’t have been practical for me to work around her various medical appointments. This was very much sink or swim for me as I had significant debts from some shares went tits up. It was at this point that I got into heavily matched betting, specifically focussing on slots and over 2.5yrs later I’ve taken well over £100k from the casinos without a losing month (I play slots everyday). This is by no means a brag, as during this time I’ve learned a lot about myself and my attitude to gambling, therefore my takeaways are as follows:-

1. If you have a history of chasing losses, gambling more than you can afford to lose and feeling hopeless and sick about it YOU HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM. It will never go away, it’s the the way your brain is wired so just accept it. I also have one, I just control it.

2. Identify your ’tilts’, this will be different for everyone but personally I always lost the most money when in a relaxed state of mind (playing on my phone/watching TV etc.), so identify the situations where a tilt is likely and avoid that situation. So if you get tilted playing pub fruit machines, leave the debit card at home etc. You’ll save a lot in the long run. Our brains comprise logic and emotion, if you put yourself in a position where the barriers to emotion are reduced, e.g. relaxed, under influence of alcohol etc. you’re more likely to lose money as it’s only when emotion leaves and logic kicks in will you kick yourself for the damage that emotion did.

3. Never gamble with expectation of winning. Having done this nearly 3yrs as a primary source of income ALL my big wins have been unexpected and any losses are always when playing with expectation. If you do gamble, need to scratch that itch, set a budget, have no expectation and you won’t be disappointed.

4. Find something to be passionate about and focus your energy/finances on that. If you add up all the time, stress, and money wasted chasing losses that’s you’ll find it would always be better spent elsewhere. Start a business or side gig for example, focus your energy on earning rather than hoping for a financial boost.

Hope that helps, I’m by no means gamblers anonymous as these are merely my observations on the subject. If you need any help drop me a message.

I know you mean well and a lot of your advice is sound, but highlighting to an addicted gambler who has been offered a place in a residential home for therapy how much you have won on slots over the past few years is not to my mind helpful, neither is advising him to gamble but set himself a budget.  He is clearly way past this and not in a mindset where he is able to set a budget.

The answer to the OP should not be, gamble within your means or gamble professionally, it should be DO NOT GAMBLE at all.

Well done on your approach however and congratulations on finding a way to make a bit of money out of it

[Ha HappyShopper82 WANTED $8 Outlaw]

No worries, I mean my personal opinion is that once a gambler always a gambler. Stopping gambling is like getting a straight person’s brain to turn gay (poor example I know). Surely it’s better to accept, analyse behaviour/experience, understand and restrict/moderate than it is to stop completely/go cold turkey? I never been to a GA meeting so I don’t know what tactics they use I’m just saying what worked for me. Even if stopping completely it’s still something that will never go away, it’s ingrained in us. All it takes is one tilt and it’s back to square one (if going ‘stopping’ completely).

[Winningbird WANTED $574 Outlaw]

Bambigotshot wrote:

Winningbird wrote:

would also recommend you order a new card and scratch off the security code on the back so you cant  gamble online.

Good luck ordering stuff online :-).   You don’t even have to ring your bank to block gambling transactions with many of the banks now.  You can do it on the online app, and you can’t unblock it yourself.    You have to ring the bank and then wait 48 hours, this is a great move, as it takes away the sudden urges.  Once your card is blocked you can’t gamble online anyway, security code or not.   Even Bolivian Big Win Casino can’t take deposits, gamban registered or not.

If the op puts his/her parents on gamstop as well as himself, and scratches the security code off, they could transfer the money to their parents with their permission and order it from their card.

They may be able to block gambling access on their own cars, but they would have to get permission from the bank on their parents behalf to block transactions on theirs. I’m guessing the op doesn’t want their parents finding out their card was used, so this could be pretty hard.

[nf nffcfan WANTED $8 Outlaw]

Hi and thanks to everyone who has taken the time to reply.

I hope by just opening up and admitting how bad things are it may well be the start of the road to recovery.

My mum does now know I have been using her account but this was actually down to her receiving a phone call from Bet Victor after I deposited a decent amount last week and then self excluded the account.

Nice of them to check if there was a gambling issue after the funds had ran out.

I think as mentioned by a couple of people my best option is to now speak to her and then Gamstop in her name as well for the next 6 years.

As for myself I still have over 4 years left on Gamstop and have already restricted by debit card to not allow gambling transactions (including bookies) and lowered my cash withdrawal limit to the lowest I could £200.

My next step is to remove cash withdrawals from my credit card as between that and my debit card it’s still so easy to lose a massive chunk in an arcade between them 2 cards.

I have self excluded from my local arcade at the start of the year and now find myself set up elsewhere just with a little further travel, again this needs to stop.

I do feel like I am ready to stop and as previously mentioned do I really want to be that old man in the bookies?

Thanks again for those that have given advice and for those wishing me good luck.

[Seyahkram1977 WANTED $706 Outlaw]

Mate all the advice above is sound, haz and winningbird been there and come back stronger,

So do your folks know ? Do the people around you know ? If they don’t, I think  you need to be honest with all around you, because you obviously need help with this..

some say about it being embarrassing telling somebody, but embarrassment fades,and I think you run out of options when you include others in going “ around the systems “, and the real possibility that you could borrow and not have enough to pay back….

, get a new card, have it delivered to a friend, have them scratch off the card security number, casino ban your bank accounts

gamban your folks, have them do the same banning their account from casinos, but it needs you talk to them …. just be honest about the shit your going through …

[Winningbird WANTED $574 Outlaw]

A problem shared is a problem halved, so your mum finding out will be a little easier. You have family to talk to about it now and she might be able to help you take the next steps you need to recovery. Have a look at gamcare. There is a forum on there for recovering gambling addicts as well as family of recovery addicts. The stories are really relatable. Gamcare also offer a counselling service. As far as I’m aware, it’s free but I could be wrong. It’s been a long time since I’ve been on there.

Could you ring the current arcade you’re travelling to and ask them to self exclude you, or do you have to go in? Going in could make the temptation worse, and have you spending money before deciding to self exclude or chase losses. Be careful, if you do go to exclude. Don’t take any money with you.

[Ha HappyShopper82 WANTED $8 Outlaw]

Good Luck NF, I used to work In a bookmakers and yes you definitely do not want to become the dishevelled old guy who’s next bet is more important than a bar of soap! On the plus side, think yourself fortunate that you identify it’s an issue and can progress positively with your life. Particularly when you hear stories of 50+ yr old housewives who’ve never gambled before suddenly having to remortgage after a Kitty Bingo session! As someone else said life is a long journey, 40 is no age these days, so you have plenty of time to turn the tide. Focus on your passions, work on your strengths and weaknesses and things will improve, you just have to be patient. Like all these additions your not a fool to make a mistake once, twice or even a thousand times providing you learn and develop from it ?

[Ba Bambigotshot WANTED $14 Blocked]

nffcfan wrote:

I have self excluded from my local arcade at the start of the year and now find myself set up elsewhere just with a little further travel, again this needs to stop.

Well done on starting the journey, and don’t make my initial mistake – I barred from all my local bookies within 10 miles, then found bookies in 15 miles, banned all them, and then moved further afield until I was doing 50 mile round trip to get my fix.

The internet is a wonderful thing and I ended up searching on there for every possible alternative, and now it would take me nearly 2 hours to get there and back from a bookies – I’m never that desperate.

And as I say, now that I can’t gamble, I don’t feel like gambling – with the removal of temptation the urge has gone.

As to Bet Victor contacting your mum after your funds had run out, they were probably checking to see if they could squeeze any more blood out of the stone – casino’s don’t like you having money in your account which could be in theres 🙂

[Ba Bankieboy87 WANTED $13 Outlaw]

Have a lot of similarities to your story OP. There is light at the end, I haven’t arrived at the light yet but at least I’m in the tunnel at least. I won’t go too much into my own situation and bore people, but I was an every day gambler, not a day would pass without sports bets during the day, FOBTs in the bookies and in services stations after work or in my travels and slots online at night.

 

I’m lucky enough to have a good salary and it took for me to realise that I needed a loan at Xmas to get my friends and family their gifts etc. This was because I gambled every spare pound that I had after bills were paid and got loans if that ran out.

 

On Jan 5th when I went back to work this year I decided it’s no more for me. Got on Gamban, luckily the William Hill near me closed their small branch, and I haven’t placed a bet since. 3months on now, I’m making extra payments to loans etc, I have money in my bank and I’m starting to see that in a matter of time I’m going to have my life back.

 

Sorry to rabbit on but I sometimes feel like putting this down in black and white on this forum is like a form of therapy. Just tell yourself you are doing it, make a start and count the days. When you get to a week give yourself a pat on the back, same again when you reach two weeks etc. Come on here when you reach a month and let everyone know you’ve done it, that acts as an incentive for me when I tell my mates or even put it in here.

 

You can do it mate, I know for a fact you can because everyone has the ability to change. A couple of long years down the line you’ll feel amazing. Wish you all the luck in the world pal.

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