Hey sweet, sorry you’re having to go through this again. I’ve been there so I know how you’re feeling. Are you joined with gamstop now? If so, theres only a few selected casinos you could go on, but they’re really bad casinos with horrible terms and conditions and hardly ever pay out. I know its tempting just to get that feeling, but honestly it’s not worth it.
I would recommend you contact your bank, ask them to stop any gambling transactions from coming out of your bank, and if possible, order a new bank card and ask someone to scratch your security code off the back. If you need to order anything online, it can be a bit of an arse but hopefully you can give someone the money and order from their card with their permission. I would also recommend gamcare online. They have a forum with new people, recovery diaries, stories from relatives and friends with addictions ect. They also have a help line and offer a counselling service which used to be free (not sure if it still is!) Don’t be too hard on yourself, it’s a hard addiction to beat, especially when we are all in lockdown and have nothing to distract our minds.
If you haven’t already, get yourself a hobby or get into something that will distract you. Read a book, watch a series, get into writing, go on bike rides, do some craft work. I find going for a drive helps me when I feel shit. It’s the only thing that calms me down when I feel on edge or anxious.
We are all here for you. Come back here if you feel like gambling and we can try and help distract you. Also, remembering how you feel right after a big loss could help. You want to get yourself out of the hole, not dig yourself any further.
Hope you’re feeling a bit better x